i can't sleep, but i need to. i love you more than the world mitchell barrett. goodnight. i really want you to read this but i know you won't. but i love you so so so so much. i can't stop thinking about you right now. i need sleep though... nighty night.
love carmen
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hey bear,
its been awhile since i last wrote to you. a long while. I'm so sorry I've been forgetting to keep up with this. I'm going to try my best now. because everyday i need to tell you how much i love you. so a lot has happened since my last posts, some fights, a trip to gatlinburg, amazing dates. good and bad. but i think we are at a good place right now. the other day we got in a fight . i was upset because you really wanted to go to kyle armstrongs party. you really wanted to go. and i wouldn't let you because the thought of you even looking at a past girl you hooked up with makes me sick to my stomach. i can't help the way i feel. I'm selfish and i don't want to share you with anyone. and I'm sorry for that. but at the same time i just don't want anything changing how good we are now, and to keep it that way we make sacrifices. and i would just like you to know, i appreciate all the sacrifices you've made for me, all the parties you didn't go to, all the friends you've cancelled on, all the minutes you've waited on me. i appreciate it all. and in the end those sacrifices are what makes us such an amazing couple. its just going to be me and you against the world in a couple months and I'm very excited for it. all the time were going to spend together. were going to basically be married. i can already tell now that i cannot wait. you're my best friend and the best boyfriend i could ever ask for. i love you more than life itself. staying here in tn was probably the best decision i coudlve made. were gunna do great things mitchell barrett. can't wait to see you tommorrow after community service. gotta see my babe so we can listen to petty wap and play some titan fall.... maybe a couple kisses too ;) goodnight.... even though your already sleeping... i bet you look precious. little soft cheeks and cute little eyelashes and your big comfy bear- body. wish i was there. i miss you. i love you love, carmen mitchell barrett,
I'm sorry i haven't wrote you in so long. I've just been with you every night till like 1 and then i go to sleep when i get home. but here i am now, writing you a little note babe. i just want you to know that i love you so much. like so so so much. your my soulmate. oh my god. i am in love. we've had the best best couple of days. seeing jurassic world, and hanging out with nick and mace. i loved it. i love just talking to your friends like we did. and then last night. oh my god. the first time ever you asked your mom if we can have a sleepover and she said yes. it was so nice to make love after so long. 2 weeks is a long time to wait when your boyfriend is as sexy as mine ;) but anyway, we stayed up late in the shower and laughing and talking and i loved it so much. i love how no matter what we do we just have an amazing time. waking up to you is the most amazing feeling too babe. its so nice to see you in the morning. while you were sleeping i was just tracing your face with my finger, just admiring how perfect you are. thinking to myself, i am so in love with him. nothing makes me happier. and then to top it off we had an amazing breakfast and we got drinks and a cooler :) we were like a little married couple today. on our road trip and climbing together at cummins falls. you helped me over the rocks and encouraged me, your so supportive and amazing mitchell. i had so so so much fun today. i appreciate everything you do for me, every penny you spend on me, every word you say to me. i really do. you couldn't be anymore perfect of a person than you are right now. i will love you forever. i love you. love, carmen xoxo babeeee , hey.
sorry i haven't written you. I've been with you every night and then i pass out when i get home and then i most likely have work in the morning. so I'm sorry. thank you for coming with me to sell my iPhone . that actually means a lot because i was scared and i probably wouldn't have done it if you didn't come with me. and we had the funniest car ride. we were just weird and crazy and we couldn't stop laughing. i love that about us. were both weird af. hehe. sexy weird people. thats a paradox :) I'm sorry for getting sad last night when i saw your picture. i wasn't even going to tell you i was mad because its stupid. i don't know. it just brought up a lot of emotions because i remember school and everyone running up to me to tell me every fucking detail about it. like EVERYTHING. why would someone do that? even girls did it. all the time. :( i think your friends knew it upset me so they'd have your back and do it. but girls??? no. bitches. anyway, i love you so so so so much. love, carmen xoxo hey love,
i love you so so so much. I'm sorry we fought so much yesterday morning but tomorrow turned out to be such a great day. i was mad and then i cameleer and you kissed me and it made everything better. we're so happy together. and we've never fought face to face and i think that means a lot. were meant for each other mitchell. yesterday was just so great. something about it made it seem like the future already. us going to the pool together and buying a couch and going to kroger and watching movies in bed. i don't know. i just felt so much like you're partner . like your wife a little. thats crazy to say but still. I'm just so in love with you. never leave me. and ill never leave you. together forever. i love you, best friend. love, carmen xoxo mitchell, i want you to know i love you very much , very very very much. i love you so much it scares me. i just want to know my future. i want to know if your in it. and it bothers me. what if you leave like you did before ? what if we lose feelings? its just all running through my head . i don't want to be damaged. i don't want to go through what i did last time except 10 times worse. i can't. I'm not quiet sure if i fully believe in god but i still pray everyday that things work out with us. I'm not saying i doubt our relationship but i just wonder about the "what ifs" . i want us to work so bad. i think your the one and i want you to be. it scares me so much. thats why I'm scared when you go out without me because what if something happened, like what if you got really drunk and kissed someone , even on accident, i don't think i could stay with you any longer not matter how much i loved you because i would never trust you again. i would always have that little pain inside of me. i kind of did now. thats why I'm reluctant to trust you. i don't know mitchell. i feel like I'm just ranting on and on . I'm sorry. I'm just scared . i want you here.
I'm having a rough day. telling emily and amber I'm no longer going to WKU. and it hurts. it hurts me to be hurting my friends. I'm really sad . i just want you to tell me its going to be ok. and i never want to face them again. event though they're pretty much my best friends. i want you here to talk to you. i need to cry. i love you. always, carmen xoxo so your at a party right now . without me. i felt a little weird about leaving you there but its okay now. i just feel like I'm now beginning to trust you. i guess well see where this trust goes. :) i know its ridiculous of me to be worried because its only our friends there but i don't know. i worry about you mitchell. i don't want one night to change our relationship forever. it scares me. i love you. you finally did good at beer pong. proud of you bby, its usually just me doin werk. we always win though when we play together, i freaking love it so much. literally so fun. ill see you tomorrow . i love you more than anything. thank you for driving me back and forth in the rain today. enoing is the best with you. your the best.
i love you. carmen xoxo i didn't see you today. i feel empty. i want to see you. i feel like a little piece of my day is missing. little piece of me is missing. i miss you mitchell. I'm sorry things have been the way they've been the last couple of days. I'm really moody and hormonal and cranky and ugh i really wish i wasn't. and i really haven't meant to be over dramatic. its just been this way. i need some time with you to be happy and laugh. i love you and us.
thank you for coming to the bridge with me last night. i love it. love it so much. I'm sorry i wouldn't have taken you there if i hadn't forgot your fear of heights. didn't remember until we walked onto the bridge. you were being cute trying to say you weren't scared. your just the cutest thing. i love you so much . so so so so much. and i will always remember that promise we made up on the bridge. you said we'd be together forever ever and we pinky-kissed on it. i love it. i love you. always, carmen im exhausted. i had work everyday this week and i have to get up early tomorrow for it too. I'm sorry i didn't write you on june 5th. i was with you most of the time so i didn't have time to write you one. but thank you for sleeping over again. we got into a little fight before because "everything is always on your time." and i was just thinking, that is some what true. but i guess your just a busy guy ya know so i shouldn't expect your attention every second of every day . and i guess that makes me selfish because i do. I'm sorry. i know how hard you try to see me and hangout with me , it just gets to me sometimes. I'm glad the night made a turn around tho. night swimming and sonic was definitely a good move :) and then we came home and watched the" best movie ever" -intersteller-. it was pretty good but I'm gunna be honest.. i was asleep for the whole beginning. sorry. you're just too comfy of a person to lay on.
the pool was nice today. it was so hot and it felt so good to swim ( I CAN SWIM) i mean apparently not well , notice my giant scab on my chin. lol. I'm awful. i hope you had a fun guys night. at first i was upset and i felt like you kind of ditched me but i like when you have guys nights. i feel like you need nights without me sometimes :) gotta take a break so you don't get sick of me . of, I'm really tired. i love you mitchell barrett. xoxo carmen i just finished watching the last movie we had to watch, sorry you know I'm not patient. ill probably tell you haven't seen it when you come over again tonight. but i did watch it :) i apologize in advance for my lie but i don't want you to feel bad.
thank you for staying with me last night, and staying inside with me because of my cramps. our movie night and halo night was fun. it was amazing to wake up with you in the morning. just waking up in your arms and seeing you is one of the best feelings in the world. your my big cuddly bear and i love it so much. thank you for making my bed too babe, that was really sweet of you. your so good to me. and putting puppy away this morning. your the best boyfriend i could ask for mitchell. these sleepovers really excite me for the future. i love you. xoxo carmen hey mitchell. i know your probably asleep but i had a really nice time with you today. i'm sorry that lady didn't show up to pick up your dresser. i know deep down it bothered you , surprised you didn't charge up ;) she's a bitch though. so rude. but hey thanks for sharing the greatest sandwich in history with me and giving me a couple barbecue chips... really means a lot. hehe. i almost love subway as much as you. and then so proud of you, we actually watched a movie together all the way through. no distractions and it was kinda nice. at the same time i wanted to jump you but i really did like watching the movie . we've got two more to watch tomorrow when you sleepover ;)))) you're sleeping over tomorrow and the night the next day. like i won't take no for an answer. partly because I'm scared af to be alone in my house. but ugh i can't wait. we just have so much fun together, always. never bored. your my best friend mitchell :) love you always and forever cupcake.
xoxo carmen p.s. we still have two more movies to WATCH. hey babe i almost forgot to write you something today. today was great. we only hung out for a couple of hours but i loved it. i love you. eno-ing is by far one of my favorite things to do with you, were so close and we can just kiss and talk in our little cacoon. and then you took me to the mall and i let you pick out a bikini for me because you always hate my little bikinis. but that was the whole reason why i wanted to go to the mall in the first place.i just want to make you happy and please you and I'm glad i could do that.
i loved the ride home. we got into deep conversation about our relationship and how were gunna last and how we've developed in the last year. really makes me excited for our future. i just love being with you. just riding in your truck and listening to country music. I'm addicted to you, everything about you and us. love you more than life cupcake. see u tomorrow. xoxo carmen mitchell theres no words to describe how much i love you. today we went to the pool for an hour and i ditched you after because of my period cramps. so sorry bby, then later, i came over :) you were so sweet . you went with me to walgreens to get advil and some gatorade and you paid for me and i really really appreciate it. you keep me happy mitchell.
we laughed so much tonight. we always laugh but tonight was so fun. but i swear to god if you ever commit suicide in halo to let me win i will kill you or throw your xbox out the window or something, either way its gunna be bad. just typing about it is frustrating me. >:||| F U. then we were our usual selves, kissing and naked and all over each other, just how i like it. I'm sorry for teasing you but you know you love it babe. you'll thank me for the "break" later ;) gotta let it all build up so you don't get tired of it (not like you ever will bc its me.hehe. ). ugh i love you so much. your perfect. that ugly little face you made tonight is perfect. hehe. your laugh is perfect. i just can't stop thinking about you. ive never had this with anyone. ive never sat in a bed and just talked and laugh for hours. so thank you for that. thank you for being the man i fell in love with. xoxo carmen p.s. don't let me forget, we're telling amber tomorrow. and you're sending your transcripts in with THE 2 DOLLARS. omg. cupcake,
i just left your house and i miss you already. today was my moms birthday and i lied about having "floorset" at work because I had to see you. so so so so happy i did. our shower sesh is now my #1 favorite make out. it was amazing, we were so aggressive and just horny but at the same time is was so romantic. like when we stopped kissing and you hold my face and look in my eyes, thats when i know I'm in love with you. like 100% know. its the most amazing feeling in the world. and words can't describe how much i love you mitchell barrett. everytime we hangout out, its a confirmation that I'm not gunna be happy without you. i can't live without you in my life. your my soul mate. your my best friend who feeds me my favorite food after a long night ;) *wink* *wink*... cheese. you know me so well. finish my graduation present alreadyyyyy. xoxo carmen p.s. thanks for the amazing orgasm. hehe. mitchell,
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