mitchell, i want you to know i love you very much , very very very much. i love you so much it scares me. i just want to know my future. i want to know if your in it. and it bothers me. what if you leave like you did before ? what if we lose feelings? its just all running through my head . i don't want to be damaged. i don't want to go through what i did last time except 10 times worse. i can't. I'm not quiet sure if i fully believe in god but i still pray everyday that things work out with us. I'm not saying i doubt our relationship but i just wonder about the "what ifs" . i want us to work so bad. i think your the one and i want you to be. it scares me so much. thats why I'm scared when you go out without me because what if something happened, like what if you got really drunk and kissed someone , even on accident, i don't think i could stay with you any longer not matter how much i loved you because i would never trust you again. i would always have that little pain inside of me. i kind of did now. thats why I'm reluctant to trust you. i don't know mitchell. i feel like I'm just ranting on and on . I'm sorry. I'm just scared . i want you here.
I'm having a rough day. telling emily and amber I'm no longer going to WKU. and it hurts. it hurts me to be hurting my friends. I'm really sad . i just want you to tell me its going to be ok. and i never want to face them again. event though they're pretty much my best friends. i want you here to talk to you. i need to cry.
i love you.